Stop trying to be more confident. Do this instead.

I wish you'd stop trying to be more confident. Here's why...

It's creating a lot of overthinking, self-doubt and second-guessing.

All the advice out there telling you to "just be more confident" is like telling you to be taller or change your blood type. 

You twist yourself in knots trying to think your way to the impossible. 

You're waiting for confidence when what you really need is courage.

The courage to take action. 

Courage comes before confidence. 

Remember your first job interview? First time leading a meeting? First major presentation? You were terrified. But you showed up anyway. 

That was courage.

Through repeated action, you developed competence. You learned the rhythm of interviews, the dynamics of meetings, the flow of presentations. 

And gradually, naturally, confidence emerged.

Somewhere along the line, though, we start expecting ourselves to be confident all the time. 

Even though we also push ourselves to lead, learn and grow. 

So when you contemplate asking for a promotion, networking with industry leaders, proposing new initiatives, or leading a high-stakes, high-visibility project, don't wait around for confidence.

often known as "feeling ready."

Instead:

↳ Acknowledge the discomfort (it's normal)

↳ Take action anyway (that's courage)

↳ Learn from the experience (building competence)

↳ Repeat until it feels natural (hello, confidence)

The discomfort you feel is a feature, not a bug. Pushing through it with courage is what builds your capacity to handle what comes next.

Like a seedling pushing up through the hard earth. The growth strengthens you. 

So, please, stop asking "How can I feel more confident?" and start asking "How can I act more courageously?"

Because you have important things to do in this world, and waiting around overthinking is stalling you out.