Five Habits of Influential Empathetic Leaders

Empathy made me a terrible listener and ineffective leader. Here's where I got it wrong -

I cared so much that I wanted to solve every problem and relieve every tense moment ASAP.

I was in perpetual fix-it mode, thinking that leadership meant having all the answers and that problem-solving = caring. 

Looking back, I see now that I was uncomfortable allowing the space for issues and problems to exist without immediate resolution. 

At the expense of others feeling seen, heard and understood... 

snuffing out creativity, motivation and pride of ownership. 

Influential leaders don't leap in to save the day, like a misguided superhero. They give people the space, support and guidance to do it themselves. 

Here are 5 Habits of Influential Empathetic Leaders:

1. Curiosity

   Show interest and openness. Assume less. Ask high-quality questions. Think before you speak. Resist the urge to fix things or know the “right” answer.

2. Attention

   Eliminate distractions when someone else is talking to you. Listen to understand, rather than to respond. Show them you’re listening through your body language and eye contact.

   
   

3. Courage

Showing empathy at work can take courage, especially if it goes against workplace norms. This could mean challenging biases or policies, acknowledging tough situations or offering support before you’re asked.

4. Openness

Avoid absolutes and binary thinking. “It’s best to be positive!” or “That’s the right way to approach this” can shut down the dialogue. Watch out for words like “always,” “never” and “everyone.” Leave room for flexibility and resourcefulness.

5. Pausing

   Resist the urge to fill every moment with conversation. Show respect by not rushing and giving the other person some space to think, too. There is so much power in silence. 

Leaders are strong enough to let things stay uncertain so they can unfold naturally and have an impact that ripples outward.

Allowing for more meaningful connection and impactful, collaborative results.

That's influence.